stiff

so, that guy

still having these feelings. he is talking to me now..i’m just, ecstatic. i dunno..

i missed my chance.

he got offline, without talking to me.

not interested, right? :s

he is on facebook……

what do i do, oh god.

talk? yes..no…oh jesus.

so, i have this old friend.

and when i say old, i mean…we’ve been friends for seven years. We are the same age, i’m a few months older. while i was in a committed relationship with this guy, he was ‘in love’ with me. he wrote me notes about how he could treat me better ect (we were freshmen) anyways, it’s been years.. he’s gotten over it and iunno, we’ve grown apart. we used to be attached at the hip, always. through everything. and out of random events, we were brought back into each other’s paths, only for a few nights. But being around him that little time has put these images in my head. I miss him, dearly. as a friend, and well..(we’ve dated twice before and it didn’t work out). I dunno, sometimes i’ll pick up my phone to text him hello.. or think about sending him stuff on facebook ect. i don’t understand what’s happened here.. it’s turned around now. i don’t believe he is interested in me at all now..and i, well i dunno.
i have day dreams about him, when i wake up..he is on my mind? i don’t get it. i always want to talk to him, or know what he is doing.. I just..don’t understand. I think he doesn’t believe in human attachment anymore. and I didn’t used to either. I think something has happened, and I don’t know what that is. I don’t think i’ll ever get the ball’s to tell him this, I just hope fate is on out side here.

advice~? I need it..

when you threw my head against the window, i knew it wasn’t a joke.